1.  I will try to be more tolerant of the three kittens producing my so-called series.  They cannot help it if they do not have my sophisticated canine sensibilities.  (Who else do you know that POOPS in a BOX?  Please excuse me while I lick myself...)
2.  I will try not to eat anymore lights off these strange Christmas tree thingies.  Although between you and me, I don't know what all of the fuss is about -- what goes in must come out...
3.  I will try not to swipe anymore than one pancake, waffle, or hamburger off the table per season.  Did I say season?  Per month.  Per month?  DAILY.  
4.  I will stop peeing on the back deck.  Addendum:  I will stop peeing on the back deck when the weather gets warmer.
5.  I will appear on a cover of the OSPCA's Between Friends publication - let's make this happen!  
6.  I will become more in touch with my artistic side and send the ever so lovely Daisy Stephanopoulos more poetry. #myheartbelongstodaisy
7.  SQUIRREL!